hello(:

2011-11-03T02:28:00.003+08:00

Lord, lead me to You.
sorry for leaving You so many times, really.

2011-10-14T15:22:00.002+08:00

it's not so much of not having it around, it's the cutting of communication.

gotta get a new phone.

work in progress

2011-10-07T21:44:00.002+08:00

I think all of us were created by God in a very special and unique way that belongs to each one of us individually, and no one else. Sure, the world does have its effect of us and shapes us to some extent, sometimes in good ways too. But at the end of it, or rather, at the beginning, i think God has placed in each one of us an amazing potential to do amazing things. Created for His good works, as someone once said long ago.

How disappointing it must be then, when we fail to bloom into the masterpieces that we were designed to be. And how sad, too, that this happens so often. Some times we just derail off from the blueprint that was written from us, whether intentionally or not. Other times, we just lose steam in pursuit of our excellence. The dreariness of life deadens our enthusiasm and energy, or we simply procrastinate to put it off till another day.

How much more can we achieve if we actually made full use of every minute that we're given. To seize the day, and to give our all in whatever to do. To finish whatever we start, and to

2011-09-30T14:10:00.000+08:00

blogging is cathartic.

colonthree

2011-09-13T00:54:00.003+08:00

Just like that, it is now week 6 of university life. The past few weeks seem to have just slipped by like a flash, find it rather hard to believe that i'm approaching recess week already. :o

Well, thus far university life is proving to be much more than what i had ever expected. Much, much more. And i do not mean 'much more' in the sense of "Wow it's been such a fulfilling and enriching experience!" or "Woohoo i have found my soulmate!". Life in school is most definitely not what i'll call fulfilling or enriching, and i'm more than happy with my current state of life for that. Much, much more. (:

Have been struggling with quite a bit of work in uni, actually. The amount of work here is just amazing. Don't think that is the main reason why though. Honestly, i'm just too distracted most of the time. The freedom that is given is quite a change to me, and i find myself wanting to do too many things at one time. Decisions decisions. Guess this is a key time to learn how to stay disciplined to the right priorities. Thank God, really, for always being here for me, showing me amazing grace and mercies. Thank God for all the people He has blessed me with too, companionship and support that is ever so precious.

The days ahead don't look like they are gonna get any easier, but i'm not complaining cos i trust that things will get better eventually. And even for now when times are tough, i know God is with me, and that He will see me through it all. Pray that i will keep trying to stick with Him, and to learn the lessons that He wants me to learn. Hope i will be able to grow daily into a person who's more like Christ, for Him and all those i meet.

2011-09-11T16:34:00.000+08:00

hoping, praying.

please be okay.

\o/

2011-08-31T02:15:00.002+08:00

I really really really want to do a proper blog post, but i haven't yet managed to find the time to do so. Time management is something i'm still working on. Hmm.

Shall just do a quick one now though.

The last 2 days have simply been incredible! Had a really enjoyable gathering with the sngg family last night, and today was just as great! Would really like to blog properly about what exactly has happened, but i reckon my words won't be able to bring justice to the amount of fun+joy+happiness+blessings i've had. Even as i type, there remains the smile on my face :D

Thank you all who made this day(s) so memorable, even for yoo and the 07s01 gang. Sorry for being unable to join you guys again, but i really appreciate the thought and efforts k! (:

Indeed, it's a time to reflect and realize just how much we have truly been blessed by God. May i learn not to take Him for granted, or all of the people that He has put in my life.

Praise God!

three

2011-08-22T23:53:00.000+08:00

it's been pretty darn amazing.

-ugh-

2011-07-28T00:50:00.002+08:00

Much has happened, i suppose, in this last month of blogging inertia. Have been meaning to do a meaningful recap of what has happened thus far, but doubt i can produce anything comprehensible given the state of my psyche now. blahh. How irritating.

Well anyway. Had lunch with a few old friends this afternoon, the old 'clique' from secondary school even though i can't really recall spending much time with the whole group during our teenage years. heh. It was nice to meet up with familiar faces and to just enjoy their company; i guess over 6 years of friendship does grow on you.

We had a discussion over a touchy topic which i admit got me rather affected. Felt quite troubled at some of the views raised, and it is scary to see how many others share them. It was a good wake up call for me, actually. To see how the world really does consist of many many other people who have different and even conflicting viewpoints. At the end of the day, i suppose what is really at stake is the issue of what governs our life. What defines right and wrong? Is there even an absolute moral law, or is everything relative?

It's very tempting to do things our way, and to define the world as we deem fit. Perhaps you may think mankind has done a pretty good job thus far. But have we really?

these tides of change

2011-07-06T23:23:00.002+08:00

Just occurred to me how easy it is to be swayed and influenced by all that's around us. Despite what we would like ourselves and others to believe, we aren't all that absolute and steadfast. In fact, we're the direct opposite. Logically, we may be able to seem to stay fixed to our views and beliefs. Yet inevitably, even these will be molded and tinted by the barely noticeable barrage of other viewpoints. Add emotions into the mix and you have yourself a fairly confused human being.

How important is it then to stay grounded in that which lasts.

2011-07-02T23:39:00.001+08:00

hmm.

2011-07-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

heh

2011-06-27T15:18:00.000+08:00

hahaha

it's good to be back

2011-06-11T00:49:00.002+08:00

The past week has been a particularly memorable one, it having the distinction of being my first ever tmt. Have much swirling about inside of me now; thoughts, emotions, and that lasagna from Duke's. It's been really tiring and painful in some ways, but i'm glad God has brought us through it. Hope that the lessons learnt from these 8 days will take root within us, and the experiences gained continue to build up and better all of us for His glory.

Looking forward to the days ahead. (:

chronic atychiphobia

2011-05-20T00:20:00.000+08:00

2011-05-11T16:47:00.000+08:00

threemoreweeks..!!

2011-05-05T23:05:00.003+08:00

2011-04-27T01:27:00.006+08:00

you steal away the rain and just like that

2011-04-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

2011-04-24T22:35:00.001+08:00

okay, i really have to snap out of this.

sorry.

2011-04-23T22:53:00.003+08:00

sigh. :(

shiver me timbers

2011-04-22T00:40:00.002+08:00

Well, it's about time i updated this space. Had meant to just do a quick recap of life or post a witty quote or something, but one thing led to another and i find myself feeling all funny inside.

Along with a longing to reread my Calvin and Hobbes books.

Stumbled across this song. It's quite an old band i presume, and boy, they sing some really meaningful songs. hmm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i guess growing up, the losing of a child's innocence, the tainting of pure simple unadulterated joy are all concepts that we feel strongly for, simply because we all go through this. It is somewhat sad, that cannot be denied. Somehow in the depths of us all, we agree that life is better when we are young. We agree that the more we grow up, the more we see of the world, and the more we grow disenchanted. We agree that this world really isn't such a pretty place after all.

And that really is the case. No doubt there is beauty and goodness to be found in the world, not unlike, i suppose, how there may still be streaks of white paint visible even after it has been mixed with black paint. We treasure these glimpses of hope that offer us much joy and refreshment, though most times the darkness of what is around us threatens to overwhelm.

There is a hope, though, which we can all count on to sustain us even in the bleakest of times. And that is the very ceremony that is commemorated today. Good Friday. The fulfillment of one Man's life mission, His death on a cross. It sounds insignificant, and perhaps it would be if He was just some ordinary person. But being the Son of God, the very nature God Himself, His death atones for the sin that enslaves each one of us. And through His resurrection, death is conquered, and we are set free from any darkness. He invites us to take come to know Him, to enter the light of His presence and the source of all beauty, goodness, joy and hope that we see in this world today. Sounds incredible? Yea, it is. We don't deserve any of what He's done, but still in love He did it anyway. Praise and glory be to God, truly.

Hmm. i still can't shake the feeling off. Really wonder how things are going to unfold, and i pray we'll be able to respond in the way that best glorifies Your Name. Teach us, Lord.

random thoughts

2011-04-05T22:02:00.005+08:00

the media, like television and mainstream songs, can strongly influence ways of thinking.

left alone, the heart tends to gravitate towards the same direction as that of those around it, somewhat like a plant.

it's important to keep constant vigilance over it.

(the heart, not the plant. unless you're into the bonsai kinda thing)

healthy venting of emotions is necessary, but what if they aren't supposed to be around in the first place?

as with most other things, they grow when fed and shrink when starved.

choose to do what is good, not what feels or seems good.

too often that is either forgotten or ignored.

too often, too, feeling sad is chosen.

how ironic.

or childish.

help me to grow up, God.

2011-04-02T23:17:00.002+08:00

not too long ago, saturday nights were nights of joy and invigoration.

God, _____________

have mercy on me, O God

2011-04-02T10:45:00.003+08:00

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not from your presence,

and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

For You will not delight in sacrifice, or i would give it;

You will not be pleased with a burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God,

You will not despise.

2011-03-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

i wish i knew what to say or do to make you happy.

my turn now.. ._.

2011-03-22T23:03:00.007+08:00

The SERVE mission trip is over! Thank God for seeing us all safely through the last week, and for all the lessons we've gained in Thailand too. Found it amazing how there seemed to be timely solutions to every 'problem' that cropped up. Much to thank God for, really. The entire experience would have been so disastrous without Him. haha.

Thought that there was quite a lot of shopping going on though... Not that i didn't like the rest and recreation, but it just feels a little too much like a holiday. hmm. Dunno, have no other mission trip experience to compare this with. Well but in any case i thank God for the free time and enjoyment. Hopefully the bonds built up within this team will stay strong and continue to grow even as we carry on in Singapore. Am glad most of us enjoyed our time in Bangkok. (:

Now this week feels like my one week March holidays.. when the rest of the world has moved on back to work -.- The two days have been quite a frustrating period, tbh. There is quite a bit of stuff to do, yet there's so much inertia in getting started. Not much to complain about, only have my own laziness to blame for this. ugh.

God, please help me to live my life properly.

help me be the person You want me to be, too.

:/ :s :x :~

2011-03-13T22:26:00.002+08:00

ah. so many things i wanna do, say, think about, blah. but i need to concentrate on mission trip first.

gack. Help me, Lord.

yeah.

2011-03-12T16:36:00.001+08:00

I'll Stand By You lyrics
Songwriters: Hynde, Chrissie; Kelly, Tom; Steinberg, Billy;

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothin' you confess, could make me love you less

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You're feelin' all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you

guess not

2011-03-11T00:11:00.003+08:00

4 more days to mission trip! :s

Feels like there are so many things happening right now......_.

Not knowing what to do, just where to go. and trusting that You will see us through.

oops :c

2011-03-09T00:09:00.005+08:00

really, really need to work on this.. :/

Much has been happening these days.. Will find a time to properly blog soon. til then!

2011-03-02T00:08:00.002+08:00

it's not your fault, yet it still hurts.

ugh. there goes the blog entry for today.

2011-02-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!

Serve the Lord with gladness!

Come into His presence with singing!

Know that the Lord, He is God!

It is he who made us, and we are His;

we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving,

and His courts with praise!

Give thanks to Him, bless His Name!

For the Lord is good;

His steadfast love endures forever,

and His faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 100

2011-02-23T23:34:00.002+08:00

"It was he who did all that, Sir," said Aravis. "Why, he rushed at a lion to save me."

"Eh, what's that?" said King Lune, his face brightening. "I haven't heard that part of the story."

Then Aravis told it. And Cor, who had very much wanted the story to be known, though he felt he couldn't tell it himself, didn't enjoy it as much as he had expected, and indeed felt rather foolish. But his father enjoyed it very much indeed and in the course of the next few weeks told so many people that Cor wished it had never happened.

(The Horse And His Boy, Chronicles of Narnia)

haha, really like reading CS Lewis' books. (y)

2011-02-21T22:08:00.004+08:00

It's hard to put into words the joy of listening to great music.

"If that's what we hear now, can you imagine how the music of heaven will sound like?" (my mum)

How true (:

who i am.

2011-02-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

2011-02-06T20:51:00.003+08:00

Blessed lunar new year to all! (:

Source: http://maaikehartjes.blogspot.com/

It's a funny time, the Chinese New Year. We have many national holidays (but more would be good) in Singapore, yet CNY is one of the few ones which evokes such strong feelings in so many people. Some of us simply love it all, from the dressing up to the exchange of oranges to the visiting of distant relatives to the comparing of children to the eating of CNY goodies and collecting of ang-bao. It is a time of great joy and merriment, a welcome break from the humdrum of daily work. Of course, there are also others who have opposite sentiments to all of the above. Well, maybe not for the goodies and ang-bao.

Personally i'll gravitate to the latter group. I enjoy meeting up with my relatives and all, but meeting up because of the occasion makes it seem, i dunno, different somehow. Well, i guess what Melvin said is true. "It depends how you yourself view it and behave." Holds true for all other scenarios too, if you think about it.

Still, i did enjoy the last few days of CNY. It's always nice to just chill together with family members, and the delicious food sure makes it better. :D Had the opportunity to have a chat with one of my cousins though, and it set me thinking about quite a few stuff. How relationships are such important parts of our lives, yet we just seem so clueless about handling them.

A friend once told me that Einstein believed that the purpose of life was in impacting the lives other. Einstein, being Einstein, had a point. We are all created for relationships. The problem is that we often miss out on the core, fundamental relationship of life, that is, between us and God. Many aren't even aware of it, while those who are often forget about it. We all need love in our lives, for we are created to love and be loved in return. Yet how many of us truly know how to do so?

It's easy to learn the 'theory', about how love isn't just emotions, involves our will and commitment, isn't about ourselves, etc etc. But to actually know it, ah, that's tough. In the end, it will an impossibly hard struggle, one that wears us down and leaves us disillusioned. We desperately need to return to the source of Love. Where else can we go? A man cannot look to the moon to know the Light of the Sun; he has to experience the Sun itself. God is Love. The whole reason why love is such a irremovable aspect of our nature is because that is His Nature, and we are created in that very Nature. And of course, He knows what love truly should be, and i believe He wants us to know it too. Question is, will we let Him teach us?

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

2011-01-29T04:39:00.003+08:00

Many times, i tend to expect that things will go the way i want them to, thinking that everything will happen according to my way. i know that such a mindset is foolish, for who am i that God should cater to me? Yet sometimes God, for His reasons, does let things turn out as per my wishes. i give thanks for these times.

But am i still able to do the same when the opposite happens?

The last few days have been interesting, for lack of a better word. Many things just doesn't seem to happen the way i would like them to. It has still been good though, everything turns out more or less well in the end. Still learning how to fully submit to Him though. Learning how to say the phrase "Thy will be done", and mean it.

Have to admit that it is hard, however. It's hard to allow Him to take control of everything, to be patient and content with what blessings i already have. Pray that i'll learn to start appreciating today.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaisah 55:8-9

Lord, help me learn to know this, and to trust in You.

2011-01-26T00:04:00.001+08:00

Trust and obey

2011-01-19T23:47:00.002+08:00

Today was the third day of the 'Lecture phase' of SERVE 2011. So far the speakers/teachers have been really good, and the lessons are all very applicable and useful. Honestly looking forward to each of them for the next 6 weeks or so. Pray that i'll be able to learn and grow from whatever God teaches through the speakers. (:

Still feeling apprehensive about other aspects of the whole program though. Have been talking to a few people regarding this, but i didn't know just how affected i am until i saw Ds Lena today. Was really happy to see and talk to her again after so long, but when she held my hand and asked, "How are you?", tears just started welling up. Was extremely surprised that that happened, and i think huili was too. sigh. Realised then that i had been trying to shut away a lot of feelingsthoughtsworriesfearsguilt, consciously or unconsciously.

Didn't manage to actually talk to Ds Lena today, however. The room was filled with loads of other servers, and thankfully i managed to stop myself from actually crying. heh. Somehow, i wish i could just talk to her and pour out everything though. Even though that will be the first time something like that happened for me. Just think that..aiya. :(

sigh.

Typing the above just got me thinking.. It's scary how much we can hide, even from ourselves. The speaker during SERVE camp spoke much about becoming naked and vulnerable before God, and that to do that we have to let go off whatever we're holding on to so tightly. Just like how Adam and Eve hid in the bushes after their fall, so do i. At the end of the day, i'm really just hiding from myself. And it seems like i've gotten rather good at it.

Lord, please forgive me, and help me to let go of all i'm holding on to, to return to You.

2011-01-05T23:09:00.001+08:00

Lord, let me learn to hold onto You.

thank you (:

2011-01-04T22:30:00.003+08:00

2 hours after reaching back home...

weitheng : Hey weisiong!! Did you see my blackberry charger??? :O

wei siong : LOL SHIT YOU ALSO FORGOT TO BRING BACK UR CHARGER?!

weitheng : HAHAHA YOU TOO????

wei siong : Yeah -.-

Hahaha.

Well, that's probably the worst point of the entire trip i guess. Had quite a relaxing time in Genting, especially since there wasn't much to do haha. It was really nice to meet up with guys whom i haven't seen in years though. Thank God for friendships that sustain through time :)

Thank God too for letting the weather clear up yesterday too. It was impossibly cloudy+rainy, but it eventually got better so we could go ride all the rides :B Oh, but felt the rides were so-so though. Haha guess i've grown up since my last visit.

Spent a lot of time thinking about stuff during this trip too. Maybe it was because there wasn't much to do (haha), or maybe not. 2010 has been a really cool year, and i really really wonder what lies in store for 2011. Have to remember to just obey Him, and to seek His will though. In any case, i thank God for the amazing friendships He's blessed me with. Pray we will all grow in His love in the year ahead. (:

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

back to life

2010-12-27T19:06:00.003+08:00

The day after the Christmas weekend. It feels like all of the holiday spirit has just disappeared into thin air, no more christmas carols playing in shopping malls, and everyone has resumed their perpetual rush into who-knows-where.

Today has been a bit of a rush for me too. The morning was..unexpected heh. But yea spent time outside afterwards, then went home for lunch, then went driving, then went home to get the rest of my stuff, then came to church for the meeting. Haven't gone home so many times in a day before man. haha.

Feeling weird today though... i dunno, displaced? Is there such an emotion? haha. Oh well. i suppose work will keep me occupied soon enough.

Meeting time!

Joyeux Noel!

2010-12-24T23:16:00.002+08:00

It's Christmas! hoho, merry Christmas everyone! (:

Really enjoyed the Christmas dinner with my family tonight. Haven't been dining at home for the past few weeks all that much, so being able to sit together with them to makan was really something i thanked God for. Had my grandma and grandpa as surprise guests too, so double the joy :D

Oh, and i think we just had our first real family activity tonight too. And as unbelievable as it may sound, it was playing Twister ._. hahaha. Quite random ah, have no idea where the game suddenly popped up from. But yea, we played several rounds after dinner. Thought it was quite interesting that this be the first time in a long while that we actually did an activity together. heh.

i suppose there is an element of nostalgia, looking back at the times when we did nearly everything together. But then again, time moves on, and people grow i guess. While we may not even see each other all that often anymore nowadays, i choose to believe that the love cemented along the years still links us inextricably, such that we'll always return home. Well in any case, there is still much to give thanks for even now, like the opportunity to have dinner together. (:

Ah well. Eventful day today, really. Great night, and enjoyed the day earlier a lot too. Just a pity that i foresee myself getting affected over some issues in future times of gloom. oh, bother. The ability of sight can be such a nuisance sometimes.. Hope i'll learn to entrust whatever that will happen into God's hands. Not my will, but Yours Lord.

aiya. 好累啊。

wanderings

2010-12-20T21:36:00.004+08:00

Today was a pretty chill and relaxing kind of day.. Spent most of it walking about Sunshine Plaza area trying to help my bro with some stuff. Enjoyed the walk about the area, just looking about and exploring the place.

Thought it was quite interesting that i could be familiar with a certain street, yet find the adjacent one so foreign, even though they are just separated by a row of buildings. i suppose that's the case with God too. We oft

en think that we are already very familiar with Him, yet all we know is merely the faintest glimmer of who He really is. And sometimes, it is only through a row of obstacles that we then learn something new and amazing about Him. Haha. Hope i'll keep looking! o.o

5 more days to Christmas!

late night rumblings

2010-12-17T23:48:00.002+08:00

Just reached home from B1G conference. Thought it was quite an educational experience today, though not so much from the message/speaker. Not saying that the speaker wasn't good, of course. Am very glad i got the chance to listen to him again. haha thank God for such teachers of the Word.

The journey home proved quite thought provoking, especially from the conversations with Alvin. i guess anything (and quite possibly everything) can be used by God to teach us important lessons, it is just a matter of whether or not we are willing to pay attention. Are we paying close enough attention to Him in daily occurrences? Are we listening to His voice?

i feel like the journey has just begun for me wrt this. Frankly, there's a certain sense of trepidation. hurhur.

This week has been pretty wild so far. Feel quite overwhelmed by everything, heh. Hope i'll learn to cope with it soon.

Okay, enough slacking. Back to work!

dislike.

2010-12-08T20:50:00.002+08:00

once again, this feeling arises. i've tried to not let it bother any more, but i suppose there are some things which just cannot be ignored. some gaps which can't be filled.

ugh.

Update.

2010-11-30T01:48:00.004+08:00

Hmm, much to give thanks in the past weekend.

Was quite anxious over the preparation for Dec outreach and cell before Saturday. Got rather worried that we might not be able to finish our work in time, and that things will just crumble into a pile of crumbled crumbs. Things didn't go as well as they could have on Saturday, so the feeling just got even worse. Thank God therefore that it got much better on Sunday. Finished quite a bit of stuff, and from the looks of things it seems like quite a substantial lot.

Of course there's still a whole lot more to do, and the time we have only gets lesser and lesser. But i'm reminded that we are not alone, just as God has promised. Just have to keep striving for Him, and keep committing all of our efforts into His Hands.

Hide me in Your Love, bring me to my knees

May i know Jesus, more and more.

2010-11-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

let's begin.

2010-11-17T23:47:00.003+08:00

Started reading it this yesterday afternoon, thinking to finish it slowly over the week. Ended up finishing it today.

It has a simple story, and doesn't have many fanciful plot developments or what not. Still, the message of acceptance coupled with the coolness of super-powered kids (it's a guy thing :P) makes for a very enjoyable read. Found myself drawn into the book despite myself; actually went a bit :( during a particularly sad chapter. haha.

Like how the author seems to include Christian views too, specifically the one of accepting one another. It isn't a very obvious vein throughout the book, but you can sorta get glimpses of it now and then. (:

Ah, in short. great book. (Y)

yay. \o/

2010-11-17T23:45:00.002+08:00

Haha.. love the last line.

Copied the following in its entirety from http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/opinion/06dowd.html?_r=1

OP-ED COLUMNIST

An Ideal Husband

By MAUREEN DOWD

Published: July 6, 2008

This weekend, we celebrate our great American pastime: messy celebrity divorces.

Go to Columnist Page »

There’s the Christie Brinkley/Peter Cook fireworks on Long Island and the Madonna/Guy Ritchie/A-Rod Roman candle in New York.

So how do you avoid a relationship where you end up saying, “The man who I was living with, I just didn’t know who he was” — as Brinkley did in court when talking about her husband’s $3,000-a-month Internet porn and swinger site habit? (Not to mention the 18-year-old mistress/assistant.)

Father Pat Connor, a 79-year-old Catholic priest born in Australia and based in Bordentown, N.J., has spent his celibate life — including nine years as a missionary in India — mulling connubial bliss. His decades of marriage counseling led him to distill some “mostly common sense” advice about how to dodge mates who would maul your happiness.

“Hollywood says you can be deeply in love with someone and then your marriage will work,” the twinkly eyed, white-haired priest says. “But you can be deeply in love with someone to whom you cannot be successfully married.”

For 40 years, he has been giving a lecture — “Whom Not to Marry” — to high school seniors, mostly girls because they’re more interested.

“It’s important to do it before they fall seriously in love, because then it will be too late,” he explains. “Infatuation trumps judgment.”

I asked him to summarize his talk:

“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends. Since, as the Hebrew Scriptures say, ‘Iron shapes iron and friend shapes friend,’ what are his friends like? What do your friends and family members think of him? Sometimes, your friends can’t render an impartial judgment because they are envious that you are beating them in the race to the altar. Envy beclouds judgment.

“Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy? Most marriages that founder do so because of money — she’s thrifty, he’s on his 10th credit card.

“Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to yours. It’s good to have a doormat in the home, but not if it’s your husband.

“Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings? When he wants to make a decision, say, about where you should go on your honeymoon, he doesn’t consult you, he consults his mother. (I’ve known cases where the mother accompanies the couple on their honeymoon!)

“Does he have a sense of humor? That covers a multitude of sins. My mother was once asked how she managed to live harmoniously with three men — my father, brother and me. Her answer, delivered with awesome arrogance, was: ‘You simply operate on the assumption that no man matures after the age of 11.’ My father fell about laughing.

“A therapist friend insists that ‘more marriages are killed by silence than by violence.’ The strong, silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive. That world-class misogynist, Paul of Tarsus, got it right when he said, ‘In all your dealings with one another, speak the truth to one another in love that you may grow up.’

“Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him. He’s a heavy drinker, or some other kind of addict, but if he marries a good woman, he’ll settle down. People are the same after marriage as before, only more so.

“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours? I remember counseling a pious Catholic woman that it might not be prudent to marry a pious Muslim, whose attitude about women was very different. Love trumped prudence; the annulment process was instigated by her six months later.

“Imagine a religious fundamentalist married to an agnostic. One would have to pray that the fundamentalist doesn’t open the Bible and hit the page in which Abraham is willing to obey God and slit his son’s throat.

“Finally: Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being — the willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous? Or is he inclined to be a fibber, to fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious of you, to be secretive?

“After I regale a group with this talk, the despairing cry goes up: ‘But you’ve eliminated everyone!’ Life is unfair.”

:\

2010-11-15T10:53:00.002+08:00

2nd week of being a civilian. The last week seemed so long, with so many things happening. Haven't had the chance to spend a quiet day by myself, though managed to get together with any old/new friends. Thank God for every one of them, and the friendships He has blessed me in secondary/JC/army! (:

Alas, today cannot be spent relaxing at home either. There's just so many things to do on my to-do list..and i don't seem to be ticking them off fast enough. gahh. Just as well though; it's better than having nothing to do and just idling about in the internet world. :/
But still, got to learn to make better use of my time. Realised that i'm actually very distracted by certain issues too. It keeps bugging me from the back of my head, refusing to be silenced. How annoying. Hope this can be resolved soon. And i hope a repeat of the past won't happen.

Well anyway, here's a song i've been listening to. It's quite sad..but think the music and lyrics are really moving. heh.

熊天平火柴天堂 LYRICS

走在寒冷下雪的夜空卖着火柴温饱我的梦
一步步冰冻一步步寂寞人情寒冷冰冻我的手

一包火柴燃烧我的心寒冷夜里挡不住前行
风刺我的脸雪割我的口拖着脚步还能走多久

有谁来买我的火柴有谁将一根根希望全部点燃
有谁来买我的孤单有谁来实现我想家的呼唤

每次点燃火柴微微光芒
看到希望看到梦想看见天上的妈妈说话
她说你要勇敢你要坚强不要害怕不要慌张
让你从此不必再流浪

每次点燃火柴微微光芒
看到希望看到梦想看见天上的妈妈说话
她说你要勇敢你要坚强不要害怕不要慌张
让你从此不必再流浪

妈妈牵着你的手回家睡在温暖花开的天堂

2010-11-12T01:31:00.000+08:00

take a breather

2010-11-09T23:59:00.004+08:00

Have so much i would want to blog about, but there's so many other things to do first.. heh. Will update as soon as things settle down.

But for now,

Of course, a cup of hot chocolate adds much to this journey too(:

imperfect.

2010-11-03T22:34:00.003+08:00

You never did realise how much you could hurt. i thought i had gotten over this, but i guess i am wrong. Despite all that has happened, the gift is still yours, while i am just a pale shadow. Many times i wonder why is it that it comes so easily to you, and why do i have to struggle just to a glimpse of it. It doesn't seem fair really. But i suppose that's just one more thing i have to learn.

Why must this lesson be so painful though.

Went out for dinner with

my family today, celebrating my mum's birthday. It was nice, having dinner with everyone at the table again. It's been a while since we did something like that. Thank God for blessing me with a really wonderful family..may i learn to treasure them always.

it's hard to pretend i'm okay.

2010-10-27T17:19:00.005+08:00

It's a happy day today, for today is the day that i got

yay. x)

For those who don't know about what i'm talking about, Monkey Island is a series of computer games released years ago. It's a puzzle solving adventure game about pirates, a demon/zombie/ghost enemy, three headed monkeys, and rubber chickens with pulley in the middle. In short, one of the best adventure game ever made.

Have wonderful memories playing this game with my bro back then.. We would keep wondering how to progress in the game, before inevitably turning to online walkthroughs. :P Love the witty humour and groovy soundtrack too.

Okay, shall work on finishing the game for now. Hope i won't need those walkthroughs this time!

For now, here's an extract of one of the dialogues in the game.

Guybrush Threepwood: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Woodchuck: A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck couldn't chuck wood.
Guybrush Threepwood: But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?
Woodchuck: Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?
Guybrush Threepwood: A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.
Woodchuck: Oh, shut up!

ahahaha

2010-10-26T15:52:00.001+08:00

though you probably don't know(:

if i keep silent, will you listen?

2010-10-24T21:43:00.003+08:00

My seat is warm. Have been sitting in front of this computer for the past 20 minutes, typing a blog entry, then deleting, then retyping, then redeleting. :/

There's something to be said but......... idontknowhoworwhattosay.

blb.

2010-10-19T00:50:00.002+08:00

questions.

2010-10-16T23:06:00.009+08:00

On the 15 October, the officers, specialists, and men of 46 SAR had their ORD parade. For those unaware, it is the event that marks that the battalion as having completed all the necessary training, and so is ready to move on into its "Operationally Ready National Service" phase.

Of course, it also marks that the 2 years of ~~forced labour~~ service have come to an end, and we're FREE!!! :D

As we stood on the parade square, sandwiched between the parents watching in front and the our armour vehicles forming at our rear, i thought, once again, of how these 2 years have passed. So much have happened. Yet, at the same time, so much still lies in store ahead. While NS is indeed a milestone for each one of us, it is merely the beginning of the adult life. An introduction to what we'll be facing for, God willing, many years to come.

i thought about where these buddies, colleagues, irritants would end up in the future. Will any of our paths cross once again? Or will the only time when we meet up be during re-service? i thought about the lessons i've learnt. Will i be able to remember them, or will i have to relearn them in subsequent years? i thought about those who were unable to fit in/adjust during these two years. Will they be able to find their place in society in the future? Will they be able to grow to understand that the world won't always change for them?

i thought about a lot of things. The speech given by my CO was astoundingly long.

wonder, how things will be in the future.
will you be in it?

2010-10-13T00:26:00.005+08:00

Spent some time yesterday at a place i used to frequent in the past. Remember the feeling back then of having so much to study for, as well as the sensation of solitude during each of those study times. Well, will be reliving at least one of the feelings soon when i enter uni i guess.

The delifrance that used to be there has since closed down. In its place is a sad little empty outlet with white paper obscuring what used to be a view of delicious looking crossiants and cinnamon buns. Have a vivid memory of a dinner there once. The waiters must have thought that i was some depressed teenager, eating an 'executive set dinner' just by myself. But no matter, it was a nice time spent in that quiet restaurant, and that lamb shank was simply amazing.

i think people can be broadly divided into two groups; those who are extroverts and those who are introverts. Some of us, for better or for worse, have the ability to swing from one group to another, though not necessarily voluntarily. Whatever the case, however, i would argue that the occasional time of solitude can be very beneficial to all of us. They offer us much, from a chance to reflect on life's deepest mysteries to a solace from an irritating sibling.

For Christians, there is an added value to such times, for we know that we are never alone. There is a God who is always with us, for that is His nature and desire. Be it in times of distress, uncertainties, happiness, or peace, we can always find a willing listening ear in Him. He will never be too busy for us, nor will our concerns ever be too insignificant for Him. And more than just a listening ear, He offers us perfect advice and counsel which no money can ever hope to buy, not to mention comfort and love that is beyond description. If only we would listen to Him.

For those who have yet to know Him, why not take a chance and seek Him? Really, you have nothing to lose and literally everything to gain. He is an almighty God, the One who spoke the universe into existence and sustains it with His power. Yet there is nothing more that He wants than for you to come to know Him. For you, too, are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. All that you have gone through, both good times and bad, He was there too, watching over as a loving father over his precious child. And He desires for much more than just that. He has promised to lead and to guide us to fulfil the plan that He has made specially for us, a plan through which we will find true happiness and purpose. If only we will open our hearts to Him.
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with Me." (Revelation 3:20)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

a time to learn

2010-09-26T23:09:00.004+08:00

2010-09-24T23:33:00.003+08:00

i think there are many times in life when we are looking for something.

It could be something that we once had, but had lost somewhere along our journey through life. Or, it could be something that we've never had before, yet there's just a sense that we are missing that something. Whichever the case, the feeling is the same. The yearning to discover or rediscover that which will make us complete once again.

May we all be able to find what will satisfy this yearning, and be whole once and for all.

Draw me close to you

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

2010-09-22T23:24:00.002+08:00

The smell of rain is still lingering in the air, though now it's totally dark out. Enjoyed the walk into camp just now. It was nice walking alone in the dark just thinking about stuff.

It's funny how much i'm feeling this way.. Hnh. Maybe i just need a dog.

2010-09-22T16:11:00.002+08:00

Some days are bright and sunny, with just enough clouds in the sky to keep it from becoming unbearably hot. The occasional breeze provides a pleasant balance to the warmth of the sun. Birds can be seen flying in the air, and the colours of the world simply make one thankful for the gift of sight.

Then there are days which are not like that. Days when the sky is grey and overcast, with a perpetual curtain of rain falling upon the earth. The air is filled with the scent of ozone, and the birds are huddle with one another as they try to keep themselves dry. Walking out of shelter, the sensation of raindrops on your skin tingle and makes you feel rejuvenated.

There's plenty to love about both types of days.. but for now,

i is giving thanks for rainy days(:

back!

2010-09-20T21:52:00.002+08:00

Hoho, blogger's "Page Elements" and "Template Designer" functions are really nifty. Great for those too lazy to create their own templates / source for one from blogskins. haha.

There are 7 more weeks of army life before ord. Not a short time, nor a long one. As of now there's nothing much to do for these 7 weeks, so hopefully i'll be able to make good use of the 30+ days left in camp..

It's funny how little we learn from history. Not just the history that we learn from textbooks, but our own short limited experiences too. You would think that with the kind of brains God has blessed us with, we would at least use it to stop making the same mistakes.. But i guess there's more to a person than just the brains alone. There's still the heart, among other things, to master.
Hope i will learn to do what's right this time. hope you'll be happy.

2010-09-20T21:50:00.002+08:00

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

"I Don't Belong (A Sojourner's Song)" By Buddy Greene

2010-07-22T01:20:00.000+08:00

a beautiful song..

2010-07-22T00:47:00.002+08:00

i think i have it figured out why people journal/blog. More than anything else, i think it is the need for us to just express our feelings and views to someone or something. In journaling/blogging, the object of expression is simply the computer or book. You can say that it's pointless cause they are inanimate objects, but i dunno. Guess there's just a therapeutic effect in simply "getting things off your chest".

Well, maybe i'm wrong. Maybe some people just like to talk.

Still don't feel ready to blog. Off to journal then! :)